im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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