ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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