it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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