break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
