he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
