The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
