Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
