Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
