i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
