Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
