she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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