those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
