Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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