so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
