She's JV to your varsity
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
