I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Randomize
