Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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