I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
