you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
