That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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