So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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