Don't make out with my wife yet
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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