About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
