That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
MIDGETS
????
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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