Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
