i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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