he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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