Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
