i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
