Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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