They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
