Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize