Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
