Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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