Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
