At least make sure they are 18
Why
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
