The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
