Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
