3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
