Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
