I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
