Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
