do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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