He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
