I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
