Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
