I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Vodka?
Forever.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
