He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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