So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I am midnight drunk by noon
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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