Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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