I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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