We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
