He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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