Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
