lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
