South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
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I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
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Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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