I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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