people are starting to question the shark bite story
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
