New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My feet surprised me
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
