but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
