Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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