Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize