I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Panties = found
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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