We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize