i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize